I’m at an interesting stage in my weight loss journey.  I was rolling along pretty well, handling the things life was throwing at me, and totally feelin’ myself!  But then life kicked it into overdrive… and I’m handling things less well, and I’m definitely not feelin’ myself right now.  I don’t like this place.

I have been DYING of hunger every-single-day.  I normally don’t have an issue with my meal replacements, but I’d eat them and my stomach was still grumbling loudly and I felt like I hadn’t eaten at all.  I managed to get through the day (uncomfortably hungry) but then had zero self-control at night.  I would just eat everything in front of me!

I was telling my coach, Emily, about it and how I felt like a bottomless pit… nothing seemed to fill me up.  And she asked me what’s been going on – and I said: “not much really”… and then we dove into my homework from the past week.  I was telling her how difficult it was for me to work through this stuff, how confused and uncomfortable it was, and how it all made me miss my Mom more than usual.  And then Emily connected the dots…

I love and hate when Emily does this.  It’s like:  duh – I should have seen that… but also being ignorant was easier.

It’s hard to process feelings, and work through things – and I think my brain & my body is so used to being fed when things get uncomfortable that they have resorted to creating an actual physiological hunger.  It’s a conspiracy!  But seriously… old habits are sneaky, and just when you think you’ve beat them – they rear their ugly head.

I’m still processing things, and I’m still ravenous… but I’m trying to work through it with the tools I’ve been given.  It’s just really hard right now.  Weight loss is hard!!!  But I know all this hard emotional work will pay off big… and I’m still in it to win it!

~C

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